Trivia: Excellent and Guaranteed Useless

[Sweetness 'n Light]

Well that MikeJackson was preverted is what I say, cause what kind of negro would bleach his skin white and have plastic surgeonries to make him look like a woman with lipstick, and wear arab masks everywhere and always forget one of his gloves. He was kookoo is what, maybe.

I even saw him drop a baby off a balcony almost somewhere on Fox TV but I think it was in some other country maybe where they don't have any value on life like we do. So I think maybe the best would be for Michael Jackson would be to kill him for all the child molestings I think he did. That would serve him right, huh? But its too late now.

But the mainstreams and the liberals and aileens think he was just wonderful like they do everthing that is crazy.

This proves that Sarah Palin is really right about about the mainstreams and the liberals got everything backwards, always making fun of her even though she is going to be the next president. I saw her in the fishing wading suit and it was so perfect not like the fancy pantsy liberals always all dressed up just to make us think they are so normal, huh? She has the guts to speak out for the real working people not some eyelites no matter where the chips crumble.

Well thanks for listening to me again and I'm sorry I dont always answer all the ideas here on the forum but it's hard for a woman all alone to take care of all her stuff and deal with the mean socialized worker and always work every day maybe to get a drivers license again but I don't see how. I'm going down the the river and throw in a lot of those bottles that are all empty now from the basement since the river is a lot closer than any dumpster in the county and I can't drive to it anyway.

But I have to go late tonight to throw all that stuff in the river cause my crazy neighbor always screams at me if she sees me in the day. I was thinking about those guns my husband left all locked up in the basement and the shells and keys cause I know where they are, maybe go sometime in broad daylight and scare hell out of that nosy neighbor and shoot at her if she starts screaming again. That would be a good lesson, huh? I would probably miss cause I'm a bad shot but maybe she'd act normal again and I could take care of the trash all normal like.

Well thats the news from here and I'm really glad it got quiet again after all those fireworks always going off last week.

[Amy Probenski]

This will put a smile on your face and a tear in your eye. It's the real deal.


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[Juggler]

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[Wise One]

Not really.

Seems to me that this advice, ostensibly about music, maps rather nicely into many fields of endeavor!

[Juggler]

[Juggler]

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[Wise One]

So neat, Juggler! And it's nice to get the explanations.

I went to their site and found the one below. This one is not explained, but I think I figured it out. Can you?


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[Juggler]

No, I do not get the trick. And I have stared.

Let us in on the secret, somebody, please!

[Wise One]

I have an affinity for reality-based discussion. This is usually good, but it can sometimes lead me off in strange directions.

When I saw today's news on per capita alcohol consumption in various countries, I immediately thought of this Forum topic. Correlating the data in the article with information in the CIA Fact Book, I produced the charts below.

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image002.gif (7.18 KiB) Viewed 1098 times

So what's the point? Drinking appears to be correlated with both life expectancy and affluence measured in Gross Domestic Product (GDP) per capita. The United States (red data point) is fortuitously close to the peaks of both curves. That is, Americans are drinking just the right amount of booze. Folks in countries that drink less, tend to die younger and to be poorer, as do those in countries that drink more.

Well, except for Luxembourg where they seem to have found the secret of drinking more, living longer, and getting richer than Americans. And although we are in the right place horizontally on the life-expectancy curve, most Europeans live longer than we do because they have better health care and walk more.

Happy Holidays, and I'll lift a glass to you all!

[Anonymoose]

Funny! Gives "multi-tasking" a new meaning. Excuse me while I run over to MacMall....

[Sam]

IWhen I saw today's news on So what's the point? Drinking appears to be correlated with both life expectancy and affluence measured in Gross Domestic Product (GDP) per capita. That is, Americans are drinking just the right amount of booze. Folks in countries that drink less, tend to die younger and to be poorer, as do those in countries that drink more.:

Well Folks I knew that Jack Daniels was good for something, besides the obvious. Gotta show this to the little lady

Here is a toast to you all

[Juggler]

Dear sir I write this note to you to tell you of my plight,
For at the time of writing it, I'm not a pretty sight,
My body is all black & blue, my face a deathly grey,
And I write this note to say why I am not at work today.

While working on the 14th floor some bricks I had to clear,
But tossing them down from such a height, was not a good idea,
The foreman wasn't very pleased, he is an awkward sod,
and he said I had to cart them down the ladders in me hod.

Well clearing all these bricks by hand, it was so very slow,
So I hoisted up a barrel and secured a rope below.
But in me haste to do the job, I was too blind to see,
That a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me.

And so when I untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead,
And clinging tightly to the rope, I started up instead.
I shot up like a rocket, and to my dismay I found
That halfway up I met the bloody barrel coming down.

Well, the barrel broke me shoulder as to the ground it sped,
And when I reached the top, I banged the pulley with me head.
But I clung on tightly, numb with shock, from this almighty blow,
While the barrel spilled out half its bricks some fourteen floors below.

Now when these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor,
I then outweighed the barrel & so started down once more.
But I clung on tightly to the rope, me body wracked with pain,
And halfway down I met the bloody barrel once again.

The force of this collision halfway down the office block,
Caused multiple abrasions and a nasty case of shock,
But I clung on tightly to the rope as I fell towards the ground,
And I landed on the broken bricks the barrel had scattered round.

Well as I lay there on the floor I thought I'd passed the worst,
But the barrel hit the pulley wheel & then the bottom burst.
A shower of bricks rained down on me; I didn't have a hope.
As I lay there bleeding on the ground I let go the bloody rope.

The barrel now being heavier, it started down once more.
It landed right across me as I lay there on the floor.
It broke three ribs and my left arm, and I can only say,
"I hope you'll understand why I am not at work today."

[Sam]

A Jack Daniels Fishing Story

I went fishing this morning but after a short time I ran out of worms.
Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth. Frogs are good
bass bait.

Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth I grabbed
him right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket.

Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bitten. I
grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its
mouth.

His eyes rolled back, he went limp. I released him into the lake
without incident and carried on my fishing using the frog.

A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot. There was that same snake
with two frogs in his mouth.

Life is good here in Va. If you don't believe this one, let me know.

[coondog]

Great Story!

You should be advised that, according to the Virginia Herpetological Society (VHS):

"The most notable thing about the eastern cottonmouth in Virginia is its very limited distribution within the state. In recorded Virginia history, the venomous cottonmouth has only been found in the following counties/cites: Chesterfield Co., Prince George Co., Surry Co., Sussex Co., Chesapeake City, Newport News City, Suffolk City, Virginia Beach City & York Co."

If you were fishing locally, you probably ran across one of the many look-alike non-poisonous varieties, in which case you wasted good liquor on a reptile of dubious repute. While you may now never lack for adequate bait, that scaley opportunist (they don't have forked tongues for nothin') is apt to follow you everywhere you go, dangling amphibians from its expectant maw.

Of concern is whether this impersonator might bring you an Oak Toad instead of a frog!

Toads have enlarged glands (called the paratoid glands) on the side of the neck, one behind each eye. These glands secrete a viscous white poison that gets smeared in the mouth of any would-be predator, inflaming the mouth and throat and causing nausea, irregular heart beat, and, in extreme cases, death. (eNature.com)

Not, as I'm sure you're aware of by now, entirely unlike the effects of Jack Daniels.


Coondog

[Juggler]

Watch in 480p.

[Juggler]

During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not a retiree should be put in an old age home?"

"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the retiree and ask him or her to empty the bathtub"

"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No" he said. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

[Juggler]

Finally! A beauty product we can all use.



I wasn't so interested in the iPad, but now that this makes it practical, I'm getting one!


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[Juggler]

[Juggler]

This one has my head spinning. Very unusual.
I don't even know why I like it..

[Juggler]

That's what she said.